For most of us, clothes are an intensely personal statement about who we are.

You know what I mean.  When you wear that little black dress you’re telling the world that you’re sexy and sophisticated. When you put on that necklace you bought from a street vendor in Nepal, you’re telling us that you’re worldly and interesting. Those motorcycle boots? Perhaps they mean you’re scrappy and tough.

Clothes are our armor, our costumes, our invitation to others and a glimpse of what we want them to see when they look at us.

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And, just like our spaces, our clothes tend to hold meaning far beyond what they are.  Does that red suit remind you of the presentation your bombed? Were you wearing that jacket when he broke your heart? Was this the shirt you wore at a moment you felt amazing?

The amount of meaning we place on our clothes in insane. Even when we don’t wear them any more, they can sit in our closet taking up room and creating the experience of a photo album rather than a place of current adornment.

Whether you have positive or negative associations with a piece of clothing, it can hold memories and these memories can often (consciously or unconsciously) impact our emotions.

Do your clothes taunt you?

Skinny jeans, fat clothes – we even have slang for the pieces that take up space in our minds and closets. And it’s not just about weight. A friend’s mother kept dozens of business suits that were decades and sizes out of date because she’d “invested” so much money in the clothes…But was it really the suits she couldn’t release – or the high-profile job?

Our clothes should honor the body and the life we are living in now.

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Are you honoring your body with the clothes you choose to keep around?  Or are your clothes demanding something that you can’t give? Waiting for an experience you hope to have one day?

An edit of your closet can be an empowering way to make sure the clothes you choose to keep in your wardrobe are balanced with your current needs and honoring where you are in your body and in your life right now. Believe it or not, your closet can actually feel luxurious and getting dressed in the morning can actually feel like an act of self-love. Imagine that…. (more on this next week!)

Ask yourself these questions as you go through your clothes to help you decide whether a piece should stay or go:

•  How do my clothes feel on my skin? Heavy, itchy, old or a little off? Or do they feel light beautiful, airy, cozy, warm?

• Who was I when I bought this? Am I still this person?

• How do I feel about my body when I wear this?

• What memories do the article of clothing bring up? Think about this both in the positive and negative.

• Is this piece taunting me? Are any of these clothes holding my happiness for ransom? Notice what old belief patterns of fear or anxiety you are holding in your closet. A lot can be energetically happening in there.

• Are these clothes taking up space that I need? Literally and physically. Consider this as a metaphor for your body. How could this be showing up in or on your body? As excess weight, constipation, tightness etc.?

• Are these clothes right for the climates I dress for? This can include weather as well as different work or social climates. What do you wear on different occasions or with different people?  Is it appropriate? Are you putting on a costume in any area of your life?

TAKE ACTION

In your home: Take a few hours or a full day to edit your closet. Enlist a trusted friend to be your assistant and help you consider the questions above when and if you get stuck.

In your heart: Reflect on what your clothes and your closet might be mirroring back to your body and/or emotional life. Are you holding on to things you don’t need any more? Trying to live in a time that has passed? Sit with whatever comes up, journal about it, or share it here in the comments below.

Sending love,

Rebecca

P.S. If you enjoyed this post please share it with your friends! Thank you!

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Do you ever wonder what really happens when I work privately with someone?

Today, one courageous client and I are sharing the full story: tears, closet-purging, and identity-shifting breakthroughs included. I love this case, because it has a big twist that illustrates a fundamental key to transformation (especially in relationship).

So buckle your seatbelts and get ready for a beautiful (and oh-so-relatable!) ride.

Laika’s home and marriage both needed some love.  Just not exactly in the way she thought.

Laika and her husband deeply love each other, but every few months, their painful past would resurface. They always worked through it — but Laika desperately wanted to heal her marriage, once and for all. She wanted to create deeper intimacy, more effective communication, and find ways to start having fun again. In short: she wanted to create the kind of marriage she had always dreamed of.

When Laika found Sarah Jenks’ lovely story about working with me (and how it dissolved mountains of tension in her relationship), she instantly thought about how tense her husband got each time he opened the front door.  Was there something to this “space as metaphor” thing?

Laika took a quick mental tour of her home.  It felt unfinished, neglected, and chaotic.  That’s is when her first lightbulb went on:

She felt the same way in her marriage!

Laika was already in personal therapy, working on her patterns of withholding, resentment, and forgiveness. But it didn’t matter how much internal work she did — as soon as she came home, she spiraled into old patterns of frustration, fear, and shutting down.

Does your hard-won personal growth fly out the window when you get home? Take a look at your space!

When I arrived in Laika’s NYC home for our intensive, she was pretty sure about the source of her home-and-marriage problems: her husband. (Or at least his stuff.) She wanted to spend our time together re-organizing his home office, sorting through his things, and buying him a bigger desk (even though he didn’t want one). The gist was: things will get better when he changes and its my job to help him.

Can you relate? So many of us make this mistake in relationships: we try to change the other person, instead of ourselves. I gently pointed out to Laika that the best way to change her husband’s behavior (in their home and in their marriage) was by working on how she showed up. We needed to clean up her side of the “street.”

The quickest, most effective way to change a relationship is to change how you show up in it. – Click to Tweet

With this reframe in place, we quickly realized how little Laika’s home reflected the woman she is now, (and the women she was trying to be in her marriage). Everywhere she looked, everyday, she saw reminders of her “painful past.” No wonder she and her husband were stuck in a cycle of pain. No wonder they couldn’t move forward!

We spent two full days releasing things that no longer reflect who Laika is — AND (this is key!) releasing all of the emotions those items contained.

I’ll let Laika speak for herself:

Laika really “got” how important it was for her to focus on changing herself, not her husband. And this is when the magic started happening:

By “cleaning up her side of the street,” Laika is enjoying beautiful ripple effects on her own life, in her business, and YES…in her marriage too!:

Laika and her husband still have work to do, in their home and in their relationship. But by clearing their space and doing the deep, internal work that went along with it, they’ve taken huge strides in healing their painful past. Not only has their communication and intimacy shifted, but Laika feels more hopeful, motivated and open about their future than ever before. By releasing resentment, pain, and shame, these two were finally able to get a true fresh start.

When we release tangible things from our lives, we can release the emotions they hold, too.  – Click to Tweet

How about you?

Does your home reflect your relationship in any way? What might be one small way you could “clean up your side of the street?” Share in comments below! 

Sending love,

Rebecca

P. S. If you liked this post, I’d love for you to share it with your friends. And if you’re curious about working privately with me (in person or via Skype), you can learn all about it right here.

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(Photo Credit – Katie Henderson)

Summer is officially in full swing! Remember those magical summer days of your childhood?

Back in spring I got super clear that I wanted to have a “real” summer this year. Not one that flew by before I knew it, but one that was full of adventure, fun and play. I wanted to wear sundresses, drink lemonade, day dream and lay in the warm sun for hours.  I wanted a “good old fashion summer.”

As I connected with my strong yearning for summer, I also got curious about why my craving was so strong this year?  Was it really the otter pops and swimming I wanted…..or was there a deeper value I wasn’t honoring? A need I wasn’t listening to?

I went into the heart of my longing and found a deep desire for…

s p a c i o u s n e s s.

I realized…

Spaciousness was the key to those magical summers of our childhood. Those slow and sleepy times … when days lasted a lifetime and anything felt possible.

Spaciousness is what makes summer deeply restful and wildly alive. It gives way to spontaneity, creativity, and excitement. It creates an environment of wonder, peacefulness and playfulness.

But spaciousness isn’t always the easiest to implement.

As adults we have jobs, families, responsibilities. We live in a fast paced modern world, where everything is designed to speed us up, distract us, and create a low-grade level of consent anxiety. It’s exhausting and our excitement slides all too quickly into fatigue.  We’re left uncomfortable. Depleted. Starving for spaciousness.

Here’s the thing, (and yes I am sure many of you already know this): The world isn’t going to slow down for us. The reality is that we must choose spaciousness.

Spaciousness is a choice. Our choice. – Click to Tweet

If we want to slow down,  we have to consciously create room in our lives, homes, schedules, and minds.

We have to reconnect with spaciousness as a value and craft the cycle of our days accordingly.

This summer, I’m slowing down. I’m consciously creating a good, old-fashioned summer of fun and spaciousness. I’m making time stretch beyond my average work week.  I am working hard, playing hard and choosing to get present and soak up all the magic of summer around me.

Here’s how I’m creating a fun, spacious summer. Join me?

I’ve created a running list of fun ideas to help me slow down, create spaciousness, and thoroughly enjoy the sweetness of summer. I know it’s got me inspired — and I hope it helps those of you craving the same kind of feelings too!

Ideas for a Good Old Fashion Summer Home + Heart:

• Eat watermelon. Lots of it. Often.
• Lay in a field of grass. Maybe on a gorgeous blanket you bought for a dream picnic.
• Plan that picnic of your dreams you keep putting off.
• Ride a bike (extra points for a basket!)
• Take a whole day off. Schedule nothing. Spend it by yourself or with your precious family.
• Hang out by the water for a whole day: pool, beach, lake, or river. Hopefully multiple days!
• Eat ice cream and stock the freezer with popsicles

• Put “watching the sun set” in your calendar and make it happen
• Pick wildflowers
• Make daisy wreaths for a little girl (or your inner little girl)
• Spend time in a garden
• Go on long walks
• Journal on a park bench
• Read, nap, repeat
• Throw a summer soiree
• Have your best girlfriends over for brunch and eat outside

• Light sparklers at dusk
• Chase fireflies
• Take time to do nothing but giggle
• Hold a new baby and watch closely as he or she discovers the world for the first time
• Notice when worry or stress creep in — and escort them to the door
• Pick berries and bake pies (or who cares… buy a pie and pretend you made it! Serve it on your most beautiful plates.)
• Go to the movies in the middle of the day (or catch an outdoor show)
• Go camping or sleep under the stars in your backyard (or a national park..I went to Yosemite for the first time this summer…it was amazing!)
• Go horseback riding
• Take a day trip to your local farm

• Place fresh flowers in every room of your home
• Adorn the bed with white linens
• Play summery music (my favorites: Hawaiian and Reggae!)
• Fancy up your water with mint, lemon, cucumber, or raspberry
• Have candlelit dinners under twinkly lights on your porch
• Eat lots of shish kabobs, heirloom tomatoes, and corn on the cob!

Doesn’t it sound lovely?

Are you onboard for a magical, spacious, old fashioned summer, too? Let’s keep building this list! What fun ideas do you have to share? I can’t wait to hear about them in the comments below.

And if you are up for it…. let’s help keep each other inspired! I’ll be posting throughout the summer, using the hashtag: #summerofspaciousness. Here’s how you can join in:

• Follow me on Facebook, here.
• Catch my Instagram feed here.
• Post your own photos and reflections (on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook) using the hashtag: #summerofspaciousness. I can’t wait to see what you are up to!

Sending love,

Rebecca

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The survey results are in! Two weeks ago, I sent a simple little email to our community (to join us put your name in email in the box to the right..it’s free!) asking one question: what is your biggest struggle when it comes to creating a home you love?

The response. Was. Huge.

Within hours, I had hundreds of responses. And, yes: I responded personally to every single one! It’s been so fun to connect directly with so many of you, and to get an inside look at what’s “up” for you! Your responses have illuminated even more layers to this work, and given me a fabulous sense of where you’re at and how I can help. Thank you! Thank you!

After some sorting, sifting, and analyzing, a clear pattern has emerged. The vast majority of your struggles fit into two main themes:

Theme #1: You feel stuck, uninspired, or limited in your space — and you don’t know how to change it due to a lack of money, time, or inspiration.

What it sounds like:

• “How do I design my space on a budget?”
• “What colors/textures/lighting should I bring in?”
• “I want more peace/vibrancy/creative inspiration in my space but don’t know how to create it!”
• “How do I refresh and edit my space seasonally without buying all new things?”
• “I don’t know what my authentic style is?” or, “How do I figure out what’s beautiful to me?”
• “How can I create a beautiful home in a space I know it’s only temporary or transitional?”

Familiarity can blind us. When you feel stuck in your home or heart, it’s time to invite a fresh perspective.

– Click to Tweet

What I suggest:

• Pay attention to what makes you happy! When you are out and about, start paying attention to things you are drawn to…. atmospheres, colors, lighting, textures, people, music, energies. What things light you up? Make you smile? Make you feel…joyful, relaxed, inspired, alive, grounded, grateful or…(insert desired feeling.) What do you find incredible beautiful? Small or grand!
• Get creative. How might you incorporate some of the elements you identified above into your home?  Do candles help you feel grounded and present? Does color bring aliveness and inspiration to your day? Can the smell of lavender transport you straight to France and evoke the experience of luxury? Play with this! You can create the space you want and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Think outside the box. Get crafty. Be creative!h this! You can create the space you want and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Think outside the box. Get crafty. Be creative!
• Collaborate! Sometimes, we spend so much time in our space, we can’t truly see it. We pass by the same things everyday and get complacent and stuck. So, get an outside perspective! Invite a friend to look at your space with fresh eyes, ask you questions about it, and help you get clear on what you truly want. This can help re-light your spark and help get you motivated to create the change you are after.
• Do a Discovery Session with me. Want a laser-focused brainstorming session with a pro? I’m all yours. Bring me onto your team, and we’ll identify the core issues, brainstorm about how to make it better — and make a can-do action plan that will get you unstuck and motivated again! Learn more here.

~

Theme #2: Your space is mirroring some emotional truths back to you, and you’re  not sure how to navigate them on your own.

What it sounds like:

• “Clutter and disorganization are wreaking havoc on my personal/professional life, and I feel overwhelmed and paralyzed.”
• “I have a deep fear of scarcity and can’t bring myself to let go of things. What if I need it in the future?”
• “Buying new or beautiful things makes me feel guilty — I’m stuck in the ‘it’s good enough’ mind set.”
• “My partner and I have completely different tastes and don’t agree. How do we create a home that feels good to both of us?”
• “I feel burdened by family hand-me-downs but don’t want to offend anyone or seem ungrateful for not taking them.”
• I just can’t bring myself to go through my mother’s things since she passed. The grief it brings up is just too painful.
• “I feel light years away from the home I want — where can I begin? Is there even a point?”

If any of these sound familiar to you, it may be time to roll up your sleeves and do some deeper inner work.  Most likely, it’s not just your space that’s the problem: there is something in you aching to create a truly beautiful life, from the inside, out.

If your home mirrors things you don’t like back to you, it’s time to go deep-soul-diving and make changes from the inside, out.

– Click to Tweet

What I suggest

• Follow the thread of your intuition. Awareness is the first step towards making change (in our space and in ourselves.) Be curious about what you are noticing and ask yourself if you are willing to take a deeper look.
• Recognize your feelings as a valuable source of information. There are parts of you aching to express themselves and it is important to pay attention. Find your best way to slow down and listen to your emotional voice. Follow your instincts and give yourself what you need.
• Take breaks if you need it. Looking at your space in this new way can stir up some  intense and overwhelming feelings. You do NOT need to power through them! Give yourself the time and space you need to process. Breathe. It might be too intense to be in your space as you work through your emotions — try going for a walk, sitting by a body of water, or petting something furry.  Allow yourself to calm down and get clear before returning to your space as starting again.
• Consider Interior Coaching with me. This is where the unique blend of my work truly shines. With a masters in counseling psychology and training as a grief counselor and coach, I’m very familiar with the process of releasing old patterns, beliefs, and priorities. I love coaching people to stand more firmly in who they truly are and live from this place. This work that goes far beyond “decorating” and “organizing.” It’s a tremendous path for evolving into the people we want to be and creating the lives we want to live. Learn more here.

~

Your fabulous responses to my impromptu survey have illuminated just how needed — and unique! — this work truly is.

So many of us recognize the emotional connections we have to our food, our money, our relationships, our life purpose … but we often turn a blind eye to the intimate relationship we have with our space.

Working on your relationship to your space brings powerful, clear-as-daylight insight, straight to the areas of your life that need loving attention.

Remember: be gentle with yourself as you dance with these questions and please ask for help if you need it.

In the comments below, I’d love to know… Does YOUR biggest challenge fit within one of these two themes? What’s one small action step you can take towards making the change you want in your home today?

Sending Love,

Rebecca

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Today, I want to share one of my favorite client stories with you. It just might make you think twice about what’s on your walls!

“Jackie” lives with her husband in a small NYC apartment. They got married last year and have been adjusting to married life.

Jackie contacted me because her space “just didn’t feel right.” She felt uninspired and claustrophobic at home. But, worst of all, she and her hubby were fighting and struggling to connect with each other. This was never how she’d imagined the newlywed stage to be! She attributed most of their troubles to work stress and a busy social calendar — but she also knew they needed a more relaxing, inviting home to share.

The biggest problem (and mystery!) was the living room.

Jackie said that every time she walked into that room, it made her skin crawl. She wasn’t sure why, but couldn’t get out of it fast enough. Even though it was her husband’s favorite spot to unwind after work and the perfect spot for “hi, honey, how was your day” conversations, Jackie couldn’t stand it.

When we jumped on our first Skype call (Yes, I work with clients over Skype!), I asked Jackie to give me a tour of the living room.  She showed me a cluttered closet, an old TV stand from college that she hated, and the weird layout she couldn’t figure out how to manage. Certainly all of those things contributed to her negative experience in the room … but I had a hunch that something deeper was going on.

Finally, we hit the golden question when I asked her, “Tell me about those pictures on the wall.” Jackie had arranged three beautiful images from her wedding last spring on the wall. As soon as the question left my mouth I watched Jackie’s energy drop. She sighed and said in sad voice,  “Those are pictures from our wedding day.”

Whoa! Why did her energy become so sad and low when talking about a day that’s normally so joyous?

Jackie explained to me that her wedding day was a very painful experience. Family drama had overshadowed the joy (a very common wedding experience, by the way). She was bitterly disappointed in her family, and heartbroken that she and her husband’s special day was such a bummer. Those three wedding pictures on her wall captured the few moments she did feel happy that day — but every time she looked at them, she felt angry and just wanted to cry.

Bingo! We’d found the subtle but profound reason why Jackie’s living room made her skin crawl. It was truly heartbreaking.

The things we surround ourselves with make huge waves.

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Our surroundings and the objects in them can greatly impact how we feel about ourselves, our lives, and the ones we love most. But we’re usually unconscious (or semi-conscious) about all of this.

As soon as Jackie realized what was going on, she was able to open a door to greater healing around her whole wedding experience. She allowed herself to name, validate, and feel her grief, anger and disappointment. She was eventually able to reframe the entire story and see it in a more positive light: thanks to her unique wedding experience, she grew into the strong woman she is today.

Jackie took down some of the wedding pictures, but kept her favorites and rearranged them in a new way. Here was the amazing part: once she had done the deeper, emotional work, those wedding pictures no longer made her skin crawl! Instead, they became a beautiful symbol of her growth and the deep, enduring strength and love in her marriage.

A few months later, I checked in with Jackie to see how she was feeling about her room. She said it was completely different. She had changed a few other things in the room (that cluttered closet, the old TV stand, etc.). But she reported that the realization about her wedding images had immediately and deeply shifted not only her experience of that room, but also her marriage and sense of self and the way she remembers her wedding day. Pretty amazing!

Who knew: the source for our greatest healing, that one minor change that could ripple through our whole life in major ways — could be living on our walls, staring us in the face, everyday.

Jackie’s story is a beautiful example of what I call “Interior Insight.”

Interior insight is the process of using our environment as a mirror, and harnessing its power to help us grow. In my own experience (and those of my clients), as soon as we open up to the concept of our space as a mirror, we receive precise answers about where we’re stuck and where we need healing in our lives.

Then, when we combine this interior insight with emotional work and physical changes to our spaces, huge transformations occur, both internally and externally.

Note: Want to learn more about interior insight? Be sure to sign up and receive my gorgeous free guide/ebook  in the orange box at the top right of this page…I dedicated a whole chapter to it!

So … what are you waiting for? If you’re ready to harness the power of your space and start creating the life  and home you truly want, there’s no time like the present.

In the comments below, tell me what “interior insight” you have been discovering in your space. How would changing something (internally or externally) help you to grow, change or heal?

Sending love,

Rebecca

P.S. If you enjoyed this article please spread the love and share it with your friends!

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Photo Credit: YunikoStudio

Raise your hand if this sounds familiar…

You start doing the dishes and the dryer beeps. As you pile your laundry on the bed, your friend calls – she needs a number that’s on a piece of paper that’s in your car. As you’re digging under the passenger’s seat you find that earring you lost. Which goes with that dress you took to the cleaners and forgot to pick up.

40 minutes later you have half-accomplished five things and haven’t fully accomplished anything.  Unless you count feeling annoyed and depleted as accomplishing something. (Which, I’m guessing, you don’t.)

This has probably happened to all of us. It’s part of the curse of being constantly connected and trying to balance a full personal, professional, and home life.

Now, I could offer a series of tips about putting your phone in a drawer and turning off social media notifications but I also think it’s important to take responsibility for our actions and talk about the importance of personal focus and completion.

I recently started an amazing practice that has dramatically changed how I deal with the tiny distractions and little obligations of everyday life.  It motivates me to complete projects – at home or otherwise – even after I’ve been interrupted. It’s called…

 “Closing The Circle.”

What does this mean? Basically, it’s another way of phrasing your mom’s favorite saying:
“finish what you started.” But frankly… I find “Closing the Circle” to be a much more elegant, gentle and motivating way to say and think about the process completion.

You can practice Closing the Circle in nearly any area of your life. On the surface, it might look like putting the wrapping paper away, folding the laundry, clearing off your desk at the end of the day, throwing away those wilting flowers (you know you’re guilty of this too!), or dropping things off at Goodwill.

On a deeper, more heart-centered level it could look like making a decision about something you have been avoiding, having a difficult conversation with a friend, or saying no to an invitation to do something you no longer enjoy.

There are million and a half circles we can open and close in a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime – relationships, careers, chores we put off, projects we don’t finish.

The power of closing circles is big. Truly.

Each time we open a circle and neglect to close it, our mind is holding it somewhere. The psychological weight of all those half-finished projects and nagging should-dos add up. Who among us hasn’t felt irritable or depressed after a week of multitasking or a day when we failed to cross anything off our to-do list? When you constantly leave things unfinished, your poor brain never gets a break. It’s continually holding room for “that thing I still need to do.”

You can free up acres of emotional and mental energy

by only opening circles you can close by the end of the day.

Click to Tweet

Implementing this new way of thinking about my to-do list has been truly transformative in my life and I am so excited to invite you to try it as well.

This week I challenge you to pay more attention to how many circles you have open at one time.

In the comments below I would love to know: 

– Does “closing the circle” change the way you relate to completing tasks and/or projects?

– Do you have any tips or tricks of your own to share?

Sending Love,
Rebecca

P.S.  If “closing circles” is particularly hard for you, you are not alone and I can help.  A little lovin and some focused support from me might be just the thing to help increase your productive and get your brain organized.  Contact me and we will get you scheduled for a Discovery Session today!

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Since this past February when I brought my interior coaching work online I can’t tell you the amount of times I have been in a new friend or clients home when they repeatedly say something to the sort of…

“Oh my gosh please don’t judge our home. I am sooo embarrassed. There are so many things I want to change. I bet your home is beautiful all the time right? No mess or clutter ever?”

My response is always the same….“Ha!….Umm not at all!”….  I’m human too!”  And then I usually go on to tell this story every time…

So there I was at home, on the eve of my website launch. I had just put the final touches on my sparkly new ebook, The 5 Keys to Wake Up and Love Where You Live, and was anxiously waiting for Sean (my sweet husband) to come home so I could share it with him.

In my dreams, I knew exactly what he would say when he saw it.

“Wow! This is amazing! People are going to love this. I am so proud of you. ”

Well … this is not exactly what happened.

Instead, he opened to the first page of the book, where I tell my own story about creating a relationship with my space. He read the line, “Truth … I used to be a slob.”

He gave me a familiar smirk and said, “‘Used to?’ Hmmmm…”

Now, this kind of playful banter is a loving part of our relationship… but I’d be lying if it didn’t freak me out just a little bit — especially in my vulnerable, just-about-to-launch-my-biz state of mind!

“Honey!!!  I am NOT a slob anymore! How could you say that? I’m about to launch a business helping people connect with and edit their spaces … how could you be poking fun of me like that right now?!”

You see, that little voice of self-doubt had reared its familiar head. It whispered, “You’re a fraud. You don’t know who you are or what you’re talking about. You don’t have your own life put together, and everyone will see right through you.”

Thankfully, before I got too swept away on the self-bashing train, Sean pulled me close and said “You’re right…you’re not a slob… you are a work in progress and thank goodness you’re not perfect…. that would be worse than being a slob.”

Later that evening, I grabbed my journal (something I do when I am feeling particularly anxious) and reflected to the root of what beautiful living means to me and why I believe creating a relationship to our space is so important.  (Ever notice that loved ones can say the most annoying but perfectly timed things that help you grow?)

This is what I remembered that night…

The truth is, life is messy.

Sometimes on the inside and sometimes on the outside.

We are all constantly growing and shifting.

Transitioning from one thing to the next.

 Losing our way and finding it again.

Over and over.

Rendition after rendition.

I have come to know this process as beautiful. The fabric that makes each of us whole and human.

You see to me…(and yes, sometimes I forget.)

Beautiful living a wild ride. But one so worth taking.

Now, I invite you to do your own reflection…What does beautiful living mean to you? Share in the comments below! 

Sending Love,                                                                                                                         Rebecca

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Since I was a little girl I’ve been fascinated with May Day.

The joyful celebration of springtime and the coming of sweet summer with flowers and random acts of kindness has always made me smile. (If you are not familiar with May Day you can learn more about the history across different cultures here.)

For years I have fantasized about having my own May Day adventure but never made it happen.

This year, in celebration of my own “Making Room to Bloom” process and a desire to create more space for what (and who) I love, I decided to celebrate May Day exactly the way I have always wanted.

The result was a day more magical and nourishing than I ever imagined.

Here is what happened….

I secretly blocked off the whole day – when my friends tried to schedule coffee dates, I smugly announced that I was busy.

I did a little work the night before, visiting my favorite florist and bringing home a bounty of gorgeous florals that met three requirements: beautiful, bright, and fragrant (the lilac in and of itself checks all those boxes!)

I made cryptic name tags that would leave my girlfriends guessing.

I jumped out of bed on May 1st at 6am and started arranging bouquets in my kitchen. I was worried it might take forever and that I’d be short on time for my deliveries. Turns out, when you’re doing what you love (and yes, I LOVE arranging flowers!) things go pretty quickly! I was out the door by 8am.

With 20 vases piled into the back of my car, Parisian tunes lilting through the speakers and GPS leading the way, I was off!

Oh and I forgot to mention… it was an 80 degree day in San Francisco! If you know San Francisco, heat like this IS EXTREMELY rare…but it allowed my to fully manifest my vision of frolicking around in a sundress. Loved it!

I drove all around town visiting the doorsteps of my dear ladyfriends.

Now, this tradition was developed in the days of tiny mountain villages – not limited downtown parking and condo buildings with locked entrances. I had to get a little crafty. I made friends with security guards, jumped a fence and even had to disguise my voice (I used my best British accent, of course!) and said “Delivery for you. Could you come down and sign for it?”

To say that my day was fun, playful, and full of beauty is an understatement. I had the best day ever!

Plus the realizations I had when I got home were amazing and are what brought the whole experience come full circle.  My day of floral-filled shenanigans truly reflected my decision to make room for what I love.

Here’s what I learned:

1.  Busy-ness can be a form of hiding – from ourselves, from our loved ones, from the world

After all the fun I had, I couldn’t believe it had taken me so many years to do something so simple and joyful. Each year, as April wound down, I’d tell myself that I was too busy to make my silly, sweet May Day plan happen. But if I’m really being honest with myself (and you) I was afraid to be my big, bold, generous, loving self. Would people reject me? See me as being too much? Too “over the top”?  Would they question my motives? So many of us shy away from who we truly are and what we truly want for fear that others won’t understand or love us anymore.

2.  Celebration is important (and there’s always a reason for it!)

The act of celebrating is such an amazing gift.  Celebration is deeply rooted in acknowledgment, validation, honor, tribute – something so many of us are starved for in our day-to-day lives. We’re  constantly moving from one thing to the next, never pausing to shine light on where we’ve been, where we are, and where we are going.

Celebration helps us see, reflect, and connect. – Click to Tweet

It gives us permission to fully express our love. If you look long enough there is almost always a reason to celebrate. Try it. What and who needs celebrating in your life? (Don’t forget yourself!)

3. Generosity from a place of self love ripples out in amazing ways

My May Day adventure was as much about me as it was about the women I love.  It was a day about nourishing myself with my love of flowers and clearing space in my schedule to create a beautiful experience for everyone involved. It was a practice of being generous from a self-loving place.

What amazed me most, was how inspired and touched my friends were and how their inspiration went on to touch so many other people. It still gives me goosebumps!  Check out some of the sweet Instagram posts my friends posted as they were trying to solve the mystery of the “May Day fairy”:

One of my favorite reflections was a friend who said ”I was so energized when I found the flowers on my door step. It was such an interesting thing to receive but not know who it was from. Naturally, I wanted to say thank you but because I couldn’t, it just sparked this sense of pure joy in me and from this place of self joy I was moved to give to others.” Amazing!

All in all my May Day adventure filled my heart with more love then I ever imagined. It’s a day I will always remember and I’m already inspired, planning and potting for the future.

My Challenge for you!

How can you make room for what you love and take action around it? I challenge you to block off a whole day, make a plan to do something that you’ve been longing for – something that will light you up on the inside.  It can include other people or be solely for yourself. It doesn’t matter!

Just take action and in the comments below I would love to hear what you are planning to do!

Sending Love,                                                                                                                         Rebecca

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For the whole month of April I shared my best practices + insights to help you harness the energy of spring, release what’s holding you back, and make room for beautiful new things, in your home and in your life.

Feel free to use the quick links below to catch a post you missed and/or continue to refer back to and use throughout the entire year!

Also if you know someone who would benefit from this series be sure to share it with your Family and Friends!

Sending Love,                                                                                                                                                    Rebecca

It’s Springtime and I have something fun for you… 

Want your Spring Clean to Stick? 3 Questions to Ask  Before You Dive In

4 Types of Clutter and the Non Obvious Places it Loves to Lurk

My New Word for “De-Cluttering” and Why It Changes Everything

Love It or Leave It? 4 Questions to Ask Yourself When Editing Your Space

11 Tips to Make Your Spring Clean a Gorgeous Success (and Headache-Free) 

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Well here we are at the final post in the “Making Room to Bloom Series!”

Over the last several weeks so many of you have written in sharing your hopes and visions for a big Spring Clean this year. It seems that “Making Room To Bloom” has truly struck a chord!  You’ve set clear intentions, shifted from a de-cluttering mindset to a multi-dimensional editing process, and committed to making your space support you and your dreams.

Creating a space that supports you + your dreams takes deep, heart-based inner work AND practical, make-it-real action steps.

I’m so proud of you! If I were there with you on your Big Day, we’d be clinking glasses and toasting to all that you have made room for! (P.S. We can totally make this happen if you’re interested…Here’s how.)  But assuming I won’t be there, I’d like to round out this  series with a hodgepodge of my favorite practical tips.

These tips will  not only help you to clear your own space with greater ease and enthusiasm but will also motivate those of you who may be of the “hesitating type,” to dive in and get started today!

Here’s to making your Spring Clean end in spaciousness + success + inspiration. (And bu-bye, dusty piles, overwhelm, and headaches.)

My Top 11 Tips for Making a Big, House-Wide Edit a Raging Success:

1. Get trash bags. Lots and lots of trash bags.

Seriously: more than you think you need. Trash bags are so handy — and not just for throwing things away! Use ‘em to help organize as you go. Make ready-to-go groups of bags for what you decide to toss, store, and donate.

And don’t get cheapo trash bags! Do a teensy-tinsy splurge and get the ones that stretch and are nearly unrippable. You’ll thank me — I promise!

2. Focus on one area at a time

It’s easy to get overwhelmed when you’re attempting to edit all of your worldly belongings. Slow down and dissolve the overwhelm by choosing to focus on one area at a time. First your bedroom closet.  Then under your bed.  Then your dresser.  Work your way around the room and then work your way around the house.

3. Remove everything from the area

I am a huge believer in this. Remove EVERYTHING from the closet, off the shelf or out of filing cabinet into a different location for editing. (Preferable a clean and clear one.)  For example you might take all of the contents from your dresser and place them on your bed or move the stacks of papers out of your office and work on your dining room table just for the day. Removing all items from a particular area helps reset the energy of the space which is very important.

 4. Make a pile for trash and a pile for donate.

So you’ve decided you don’t want that sweater.  Is that because of the huge stain or because it reminds you of a rough time in your life?  If an item is still useable, put it in a different pile to be donated to a thrift store.

5. Stay on task. Finish one area before skipping to the next.

It can be tempting to hop from one area to another.  You break for lunch, and suddenly cleaning out the fridge becomes way more interesting than finishing your bedroom.  But there is a magic to completing things — and this is one of the best ways to build momentum.  So head back to the bedroom closet, finish it, and then move on the kitchen.

6. Have your cleaning supplies handy.

When you start shifting things around and clearing things out you are bound to find so dust and grim living in the corners of your home (and your heart.)  It is really important to not overlook this part though.  Putting your clean and organized things back into a dirty space really defeats the purpose.  Take a few minutes to wipe everything down, clean out the bottom of that drawer, and vacuum corners in the back of the closet.

 7. Think about how you function.

It’s incredibly easy to fall into a routine with your space.  You put the knives in the top drawer because that’s where your mom put them and you put the files in the closet because that’s where your husband put them when you first moved in.  Take some time to really think about how you use your space.  Put things that you use regularly in easy to access places; put things you rarely use up high or in an additional storage option.

8. Make it look pretty!

I can’t stress this tip enough.  When my shampoo bottles are in a tidy row, my day starts off better. Really! Put you decant things on a beautiful tray to display, buy cute boxes for your shoes, arrange your dishes in a colorful way.  I promise these seemingly tiny details truly make a difference.

Make your home and everything in it and artistic expression of you.

– Click to Tweet

9. If it’s going…. move it out, stat.

So you’ve loaded up those awesome trash bags with donations.  It’s ever-so-tempting to let them sit there “just ‘till the weekend,” I know.  But a week can so easily turn into a month — and then you have a whole new clutter problem to deal with.  So resist the urge to let ‘em sit.  Take 15 minutes to drive to your nearest Goodwill or Salvation Army and drop off your bags.  You will feel so, so glad that you took this final step. And often it is not until the “stuff” is gone for good, that you will experience the full underlying emotional release as well.

10. Give yourself permission to bring in something new.

Remember: we’re not simply de-cluttering, we’re editing. This is a multi-dimensional process that goes way beyond getting rid of things. It’s about creating a space that reflects who you are and where you’re going. So don’t get caught in a restriction-only mindset. It is totally ok to bring in something new and beautiful. Something that reminds you of the beauty in your life and calls to your highest self.  Whether it’s a mini Buddha, a bunch of roses, or simply a gorgeous new whisk, treat yourself! It can be something you need or something you want.

11. If you are struggling or getting stuck, bring in friendly reinforcements.

You really don’t have to do this alone! Bring in friends or hire professionals to make it easier.  Of course, I’d be thrilled to work with you…but otherwise, invite a dear friend or two or moral and practical support. (Offer to return the favor the following weekend!) It really does make a difference having someone there not only keeping you focused but cheering you on along the way.

Now after all that hard work, put your feet up and pour yourself a glass of something bubbly (again!)  Look around at your amazing space.  This is who you truly are.  Take pride in this major accomplishment and make a plan to celebrate or do something you love! (More on this next week!)

Now I would love to hear from you…

In the comments below, tell me where you are at with your next big edit.  Have you started it yet?  Is it on your calendar?  What do you hope to accomplish?  Did your last Spring Cleaning turn into a disaster?  If so, why — and what will you do differently this time?

Until next week!

Sending you lots of love,

Rebecca

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