Want A Shortcut To Intimacy? How To Create A Home With Your Partner.

So … you want to create a beautiful home with your partner. One that reflects who the  two of you are — apart and together. One where there’s space for your individual interests and tastes and room for loving connection and harmony.

Creating a home together can be so exciting….. but if we are honest, it can bring up a lot of challenging stuff, too! What do you do when you have totally different tastes? Why does talking about something as simple cleaning the dishes spiral out into a huge fight? What’s really going on here, and how can you navigate the topic of home in a way that brings you closer together, not farther apart?

When you have the right mindset and tools, co-creating a home with your partner can bring you closer together in big, beautiful ways.

Let’s start at the beginning. So many of my partnered clients come to me with complaints like,

• “I’m trying my best to create a beautiful home — but he/she doesn’t think it’s worth the time/energy/money.”
• “How on earth do I get my partner on board with the changes I want to make, when he/she keeps leaving wet towels on the floor [or other terribly annoying behavior]?”
• “I’m learning what I most want in my beautiful home, but my partner and I just don’t like the same things!”

If any of these sound familiar … you’re not alone!

Your home is a metaphor for your life. When you and your partner share a home, it will reflect your relationship, too (For better or for worse!)

Home is where your values take physical form. It reflects who you are, what you’re up to, and where you’re headed. And, home can also be the biggest minefield for emotional issues you’ve been avoiding. Old wounds. Ongoing fights. Mismatched life dreams.

As soon as we bring attention to our space, all the issues hiding under the rug get swept out into the open.

You see, your home is often a backdoor into deeper, emotional issues. (Which is why talking about “home stuff” with your honey can often get so sticky, so fast.)

But the happy flip-side of this coin is — these conversations and practices can become a beautiful way to upgrade your communication and enhance your intimacy.

Sarah Jenks’ story is a beautiful example of how home design can work absolute magic on relationships. When I arrived in her home for our authentic design intensive, she and her husband were suffering from a good deal of tension (and Sarah herself was overwhelmed and uninspired). Little did she know, their overflowing front hall closet (seems like a tiny detail, right?) was a massive source of stress and frustration in their marriage.

By working through some issues in their space and the emotional weight they represented, Sarah and her marriage got a serious upgrade. Without the strain of that messy closet triggering a deeper issue in their relationship, her husband now arrives home with a smile on his face. They also deepened their communication, cleared a major block in their relationship, and welcomed a new chapter: Sarah became pregnant very quickly thereafter! Now … if that’s not a success story, I don’t know what is!

Want a shortcut to intimacy? Talk about your home. – Click to Tweet

Unfortunately I’m not here to tell you how to get your husband/wife/partner to wash the dishes or gleefully agree to buy those throw pillows.

But I am here to guide you to the deeper issues beneath those surface-level disconnections. So that you can have conversation that will bring you two closer together … so that you both get the life + home you want.

“We just don’t like the same things” is merely the tip of the iceberg.

This oh-so-common lament indicates there are different, deeper things brewing under the hood of your relationship (and home). Differences around what you value + the hesitation to speak about it. Common underlying topics include:

• Money
• Style
• Needs
• Fears
• Wants
• Values
• Beliefs
• Childhood Stuff
• Hopes and Dreams
• Etc.

Your Turn….In what ways does YOUR home reflect or represent your relationship?  What areas do you and your partner disagree and/or have tension about the home? And what might be the deeper issue lurking beneath the surface level argument?

In The Comments Below tell me the number 1 struggle or frustration YOU deal with when it comes to creating a home with your partner?

And Stay Tuned for the next post in this series. I am going to be sharing my 3 step process for having a productive and effective home conversations with your honey!

Sending love,

Rebecca

P. S. Working with couples is one of my favorite things to do! If you and your honey are getting constantly hooked around a particular issue or topic contact me to learn more about how I can help you get unstuck ASAP!