What are the pictures on your wall saying to you?

Today, I want to share one of my favorite client stories with you. It just might make you think twice about what’s on your walls!

“Jackie” lives with her husband in a small NYC apartment. They got married last year and have been adjusting to married life.

Jackie contacted me because her space “just didn’t feel right.” She felt uninspired and claustrophobic at home. But, worst of all, she and her hubby were fighting and struggling to connect with each other. This was never how she’d imagined the newlywed stage to be! She attributed most of their troubles to work stress and a busy social calendar — but she also knew they needed a more relaxing, inviting home to share.

The biggest problem (and mystery!) was the living room.

Jackie said that every time she walked into that room, it made her skin crawl. She wasn’t sure why, but couldn’t get out of it fast enough. Even though it was her husband’s favorite spot to unwind after work and the perfect spot for “hi, honey, how was your day” conversations, Jackie couldn’t stand it.

When we jumped on our first Skype call (Yes, I work with clients over Skype!), I asked Jackie to give me a tour of the living room.  She showed me a cluttered closet, an old TV stand from college that she hated, and the weird layout she couldn’t figure out how to manage. Certainly all of those things contributed to her negative experience in the room … but I had a hunch that something deeper was going on.

Finally, we hit the golden question when I asked her, “Tell me about those pictures on the wall.” Jackie had arranged three beautiful images from her wedding last spring on the wall. As soon as the question left my mouth I watched Jackie’s energy drop. She sighed and said in sad voice,  “Those are pictures from our wedding day.”

Whoa! Why did her energy become so sad and low when talking about a day that’s normally so joyous?

Jackie explained to me that her wedding day was a very painful experience. Family drama had overshadowed the joy (a very common wedding experience, by the way). She was bitterly disappointed in her family, and heartbroken that she and her husband’s special day was such a bummer. Those three wedding pictures on her wall captured the few moments she did feel happy that day — but every time she looked at them, she felt angry and just wanted to cry.

Bingo! We’d found the subtle but profound reason why Jackie’s living room made her skin crawl. It was truly heartbreaking.

The things we surround ourselves with make huge waves.

Click to Tweet

Our surroundings and the objects in them can greatly impact how we feel about ourselves, our lives, and the ones we love most. But we’re usually unconscious (or semi-conscious) about all of this.

As soon as Jackie realized what was going on, she was able to open a door to greater healing around her whole wedding experience. She allowed herself to name, validate, and feel her grief, anger and disappointment. She was eventually able to reframe the entire story and see it in a more positive light: thanks to her unique wedding experience, she grew into the strong woman she is today.

Jackie took down some of the wedding pictures, but kept her favorites and rearranged them in a new way. Here was the amazing part: once she had done the deeper, emotional work, those wedding pictures no longer made her skin crawl! Instead, they became a beautiful symbol of her growth and the deep, enduring strength and love in her marriage.

A few months later, I checked in with Jackie to see how she was feeling about her room. She said it was completely different. She had changed a few other things in the room (that cluttered closet, the old TV stand, etc.). But she reported that the realization about her wedding images had immediately and deeply shifted not only her experience of that room, but also her marriage and sense of self and the way she remembers her wedding day. Pretty amazing!

Who knew: the source for our greatest healing, that one minor change that could ripple through our whole life in major ways — could be living on our walls, staring us in the face, everyday.

Jackie’s story is a beautiful example of what I call “Interior Insight.”

Interior insight is the process of using our environment as a mirror, and harnessing its power to help us grow. In my own experience (and those of my clients), as soon as we open up to the concept of our space as a mirror, we receive precise answers about where we’re stuck and where we need healing in our lives.

Then, when we combine this interior insight with emotional work and physical changes to our spaces, huge transformations occur, both internally and externally.

Note: Want to learn more about interior insight? Be sure to sign up and receive my gorgeous free guide/ebook  in the orange box at the top right of this page…I dedicated a whole chapter to it!

So … what are you waiting for? If you’re ready to harness the power of your space and start creating the life  and home you truly want, there’s no time like the present.

In the comments below, tell me what “interior insight” you have been discovering in your space. How would changing something (internally or externally) help you to grow, change or heal?

Sending love,

Rebecca

P.S. If you enjoyed this article please spread the love and share it with your friends!