5 Ways Your Space Can Spice Up Your Love Life!
Oh, Valentine’s Day. It stirs up so many emotions, doesn’t it? Feelings of deep love and appreciation for your partner; feelings of inadequacy and loneliness if you’re alone (and don’t want to be)… even anger and eye-rolling at the whole hallmark holiday are common.
But for just a minute, let’s drop all of the hype, angst, and overblown chocolate-and-roses expectations … and go straight to the sweet, cream-filled center of this holiday.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you can make Valentine’s Day a celebration of romance, sensuality, and L-O-V-E. – Click to Tweet
These things are worth celebrating, my friends.
They’re central to what makes our lives joyful and meaningful.
They can be celebrated regardless of your relationship status.
And one of the most powerful ways to honor and deepen your sense of them … is right in your very home.
Today I want to talk about my 5 favorite ways to bring more love into your life by working on your home (especially in the bedroom!)
I use many of these tips with my clients and definitely put them to work in my own life. They’re small and simple, but their impact is mighty.
Whether you’re single and searching, or in a relationship and want to deepen your connection … these tips will help invite more love, sensuality, and romance into your life.
1. Turn Your Bedroom into a Love Nest
Every room in your home should reflect the function and deep, meaningful purpose it serves in your life. Your bedroom is really a haven for sleep and sexuality … and these deep purposes should guide every choice and change you make to this room.
As much as is practical, remove technology, TV’s, and gizmos from the bedroom. Not only do they interrupt our ability to slow down at night, but studies have actually shown that they detract from our intimacy and empathy with our partner. Think about it: do you really want all of your Facebook friends in bed with you? Learning the art of setting boundaries to protect your relationship — whether with yourself or your partner — is critical. Taking a stand for no electronics in the bedroom is a challenging but worthy feat! (And, no: I’m definitely not perfect at this one. It’s hard!)
Also, create a safe, protective cocoon for yourself at night by closing all of your bedroom doors before going to bed (even your closet door.) This is a simple way to promote feelings of calm, safety, and protection. Besides helping you sleep better (which makes us all better in relationships!) this might make you feel safe enough to get a little more open and vulnerable — in your current relationship or in the one you’re looking for.
(Note: Of course, if you’re parenting kiddos, closing the doors at night may create more anxiety for you than relaxation — so do what feels best for you, given your life situation right now.)
2. Bring on the Beauty!
In all of our rushing and endless To Do lists, I think most of us are starving for beauty. Carving out time and mental space for beauty makes us so much more available for sensuality, romance, and satisfaction.
Add one or two beautiful things to your bedroom, and just see if that doesn’t open your heart a notch or two. I recommend flowers, beautiful bedding, or artwork that carries a calm, sacred, sensual energy. (Even if you think The Scream is beautiful, you might not want that energy in your love life — so you probably want keep it out of your bedroom too!)
One of my favorite ways to bring more beauty and romance into a space is candlelight. After all: why should fancy bistros and special occasions have the monopoly on this soft, cozy delight? Bring some of that elegant, lovey-dovey magic into your home by lighting candles in the bedroom, at the dining room table, or anywhere!
3. Pair it Up
I’m a big believer in placing things in two’s around your home to invite more love into your life. In fact, before I met my husband, I placed pairs of lovebirds around my home as a tangible reminder of my readiness for a loving relationship.
Consider placing artwork featuring two things around your home, or creating duets of decorative items like vases, candles, or statuettes. Remember to keep the pairs in close proximity, because ultimately this is what creates “relationship.”
4. Make Space for Your Beloved
If you’re not currently in a relationship, look around your home: is there room for another person in your world? If not, create some! Take this as literally or metaphorically as you like: you might empty out a drawer for that special someone who’s on his/her way … or you might just clear out some of the physical (or mental/emotional) clutter in your life, so there’s enough spaciousness for someone else to come in and co-create with you.
I truly believe that it wasn’t until I de-cluttered my life, on a huge level, that I had the room to enter a relationship. All of my clutter (seriously: I had packed closets, and a storage unit full of boxes!) kept me “safe” from being vulnerable — and prevented me from opening to the intimacy I truly craved.
Try setting up your bedroom for two people: position your bed so there’s access from both sides. Also consider placing a nightstand and lamp on each side. These small details will reflect your commitment to equal support and respect — which will deepen your current relationship or invite in a new one.
If you’re already in a relationship, this practice is still incredibly important! In fact, one partner having much more or less space can be a big metaphor for what’s happening in your relationship.
Awhile back, my husband Sean told me he’d love a little more room in the closet. And I instantly snapped, “The closet’s for me!” Oh, boy! We processed the huge message underneath that, about my needs and his, and came to a much more spacious place in our relationship (and closet!), ultimately with more room for communication and flow.
5. Change it Up!
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, stagnancy squashes romance. Keeping the energy alive by changing things up is one of the easiest, and most powerful things you can do in your home for relationship!
Try opening your bedroom windows in the morning to air things out. This is a great way to refresh any stagnant energy and keep things flowing. You might also try spritzing some essential oils, shaking out your comforter (outside!), changing your sheets, fluffing your pillows, rotating your mattress … or finding other ways to change and freshen things in your bedroom.
Even small tweaks can make a home feel fresh and more alive. (Want more ideas? Here are 63!)
Intention trumps details. In love and in your home. Always.
All of these tips are invitations to tie your intentions to your physical world. This is what makes working with our homes so powerful! And this is why finding your own unique flavor and personal touch is far more important than blindly following any one set of “rules.”
As always: make these tips your own. It really can be a fun, enjoyable process! After all: what could be more exciting than enhancing the love you have … and inviting even greater love into your life?
In the Comments: Have you been wanting to Love-ify your bedroom for a while? What little thing can you do today? Can’t wait to chat in comments below!